Thursday, July 31, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Ikan Tercekik Bola...
FISH STORY FROM WICHITA EAGLE NEWSPAPER
This was a pretty interesting story from The Sunday Wichita Eagle Newspaper a couple of weeks ago. A resident in the area saw a ball bouncing around in the pond and when he went to investigate, it was a flathead catfish who had obviously tried to swallow a child's basketball which got stuck in its mouth.
The fish was totally exhausted from trying to dive but unable to, because the ball would always bring him back up to the surface. The resident tried numerous times to get the ball out but was unsuccessful. He finally had his wife cut the ball in order to deflate the ball and release the catfish.
The fish was totally exhausted from trying to dive but unable to, because the ball would always bring him back up to the surface. The resident tried numerous times to get the ball out but was unsuccessful. He finally had his wife cut the ball in order to deflate the ball and release the catfish.
Wasiat Nenek...
Mimah mempunyai seorang nenek yang sedang sakit yang kini terlantar di hospital. Sudah agak lame jugak Neneknye masuk hopital tuh. Pada suatu hari Mimah datang melawat neneknye bersama pakciknye, Pak Man.
Sedang2 mereka melawat Neneknye tuh, Neneknye kelihatan amat sengsare, mulutnye terkumat-kamit, tangannye menggeletar. Lalu Pak Man merapatkan diri dan kedengaran Neneknye itu meminta pen dan kertas. Lalu diberikannya oleh Mimah. Dalam terketar-ketar tuh Neneknye gagahkan jua menulis. Pak Man sangka mungkin Neneknye itu sedang menulis wasiat dan beraggapan tidak elok membaca wasiat orang yang sedang nazak lalu mengambil kertas tersebut dan disimpan di koceknya. Tak lama kemudian Neneknya itu pun menghembuskan nafas yang terakhir.
Dua hari selepas tuh, selepas semuanya kembali seperti sediakala, Pak Man menghimpunkan semua ahli keluarga dengn tujuan hendak membacakan wasiat Neneknya yang telah di amanahkan kepadanya. Antara daripada wasiat itu berbunyi
"MAN, JANGAN KAU PIJAK GETAH OKSIGEN AKU TUH"..
**Senyum itu pun satu sedekah..Jadi Senyum2 lah selalu...(",)
P/S KALAU TENGOK ORANG SAKIT TENGOK-TENGOKLAH KAT TEPI/BAWAH KATIL
Sedang2 mereka melawat Neneknye tuh, Neneknye kelihatan amat sengsare, mulutnye terkumat-kamit, tangannye menggeletar. Lalu Pak Man merapatkan diri dan kedengaran Neneknye itu meminta pen dan kertas. Lalu diberikannya oleh Mimah. Dalam terketar-ketar tuh Neneknye gagahkan jua menulis. Pak Man sangka mungkin Neneknye itu sedang menulis wasiat dan beraggapan tidak elok membaca wasiat orang yang sedang nazak lalu mengambil kertas tersebut dan disimpan di koceknya. Tak lama kemudian Neneknya itu pun menghembuskan nafas yang terakhir.
Dua hari selepas tuh, selepas semuanya kembali seperti sediakala, Pak Man menghimpunkan semua ahli keluarga dengn tujuan hendak membacakan wasiat Neneknya yang telah di amanahkan kepadanya. Antara daripada wasiat itu berbunyi
"MAN, JANGAN KAU PIJAK GETAH OKSIGEN AKU TUH"..
**Senyum itu pun satu sedekah..Jadi Senyum2 lah selalu...(",)
P/S KALAU TENGOK ORANG SAKIT TENGOK-TENGOKLAH KAT TEPI/BAWAH KATIL
Stupid Q with Smart Answer
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Girlfriend : ...And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
Teacher: Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.
Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.
Waiter : Would you like your coffee black?
Customer : What other colors do you have?
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
Teacher : Sam, you talk a lot !
Sam : It's a family tradition.
Teacher : What do you mean?
Sam : Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.
Teacher : What about your mother?
Sam : She's a woman.
Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?
David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated.
Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student : Brotherly love.
Teacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Patient : What are the chances of my recovering doctor?
Doctor : One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
Teacher : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
One Student : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.
Teacher : George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: Because George still had the axe in is hand.
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Girlfriend : ...And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
Teacher: Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.
Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.
Waiter : Would you like your coffee black?
Customer : What other colors do you have?
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
Teacher : Sam, you talk a lot !
Sam : It's a family tradition.
Teacher : What do you mean?
Sam : Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.
Teacher : What about your mother?
Sam : She's a woman.
Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?
David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated.
Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student : Brotherly love.
Teacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Patient : What are the chances of my recovering doctor?
Doctor : One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
Teacher : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
One Student : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.
Teacher : George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: Because George still had the axe in is hand.
Monday, July 28, 2008
BAgi Penampar JEr...
Paling banyak banyak binatang kat dalam hutan belantara... . Binatang ape yang pemalas ????
Answer : Singa Jantan...pasal dia malas nak cukur misai sampai tebal satu muka....
2) Kenapa Amerika takut kat Jepon..... dan Jepon pulak takut kat Amerika?????
Answer : Pasal Jepon ade Ultraman.... Amerika pulak kan ade Superman...? !
3) Dalam banyak banyak Pokok....Pokok ape yg paling tinggi ???
Answer : Pokok atas gunung ddahhhh..... ....
4) Kalau kamu pandai....Sila jawab soalan inie dalam bahasa Arab dah.
Soalan :
(A)Seorang Tua jatuh dari tingkat 40 lalu mati.......
(B)Siti Nurhaliza berlari keliling padang tanpa seurat benang....
(C)Bulan depan gaji Rahim naik $1 juta.......
Answer :
(A) Inna'lillah wa'inna'lillah hira'ji'unn. ....
(B) Astagh'firullah' hal'azimm. ......
(C) Al'hamdulillah. .........
5) Ade seorang budak , rumah tingkat 10 , tiap-tiap hari , dia naik lif sampai tingkat 8 , terus naik tangga lagi 2 tingkat....kenapa pulak?
Answer : Sebab budak nie pendek ..tak sampai nak picit tingkat 10....
6) Paling banyak banyak Bangsa dalam alam inie...Bangsa yg mane satukah yang paling hebat dalam dunia nie?????????
Answer : Tak tahu ke???..... Bangsa Melayu dahh....pasal boleh makan UBI KAYU... JAMBU BATU, PUCUK PAKU.... BELIMBING BESI....IKAN SELAR PAPAN...BUAH KERAS...CILI API dan lain lain lagi.....betul tak???
7) Ape bendenye .dia naik cepat tapi turun lambaaaaaaaaaaat sangat....?? ????
Answer : hingus lahhh.......
8) Banyak banyak surat ....... surat ape yg tak perlu di jawab?????
Answer : Suratan takdir illahi lahh ...( siapa yg nak surat seperti ini?)
9) Siapakah orang yang paling layak digelar " keras kepala " ?
Answer : Penunggang motosikal yang tak pakai helmet...sebab mereka rasa "kepala mereka dah keras" tak payah pakai helmet...maknanya kalau moto mereka terbalek...terbabas ke...masok bawah lori ke... kepala mereka takkan pecah....... .hehehehehe. .......
10) Buat Baik berpada-pada, Buat jahat .......... ????
Answer : JANGAN LAGI....bukan buat jahat jangan sekali kerana kalau inilah jawapannya maka kena buat jahat berkali kali sebab disuruh buat jahat jgn sekali.... Faham ? !?
11) Kenapa baju Superman Ketat??????? ?
Answer : Kan kat depan baju dia tuu hurup " S " , Baju dia size S lahhh..
12) Kenapa KLCC berkembar 2 ??
Answer : Sukahati die la nk berkembar 2 ker 3 ker 4 ker, yg korang sibuk apsal..
Answer : Singa Jantan...pasal dia malas nak cukur misai sampai tebal satu muka....
2) Kenapa Amerika takut kat Jepon..... dan Jepon pulak takut kat Amerika?????
Answer : Pasal Jepon ade Ultraman.... Amerika pulak kan ade Superman...? !
3) Dalam banyak banyak Pokok....Pokok ape yg paling tinggi ???
Answer : Pokok atas gunung ddahhhh..... ....
4) Kalau kamu pandai....Sila jawab soalan inie dalam bahasa Arab dah.
Soalan :
(A)Seorang Tua jatuh dari tingkat 40 lalu mati.......
(B)Siti Nurhaliza berlari keliling padang tanpa seurat benang....
Answer :
(A) Inna'lillah wa'inna'lillah hira'ji'unn. ....
(B) Astagh'firullah' hal'azimm. ......
(C) Al'hamdulillah. .........
5) Ade seorang budak , rumah tingkat 10 , tiap-tiap hari , dia naik lif sampai tingkat 8 , terus naik tangga lagi 2 tingkat....kenapa pulak?
Answer : Sebab budak nie pendek ..tak sampai nak picit tingkat 10....
6) Paling banyak banyak Bangsa dalam alam inie...Bangsa yg mane satukah yang paling hebat dalam dunia nie?????????
Answer : Tak tahu ke???..... Bangsa Melayu dahh....pasal boleh makan UBI KAYU... JAMBU BATU, PUCUK PAKU.... BELIMBING BESI....IKAN SELAR PAPAN...BUAH KERAS...CILI API dan lain lain lagi.....betul tak???
7) Ape bendenye .dia naik cepat tapi turun lambaaaaaaaaaaat sangat....?? ????
Answer : hingus lahhh.......
8) Banyak banyak surat ....... surat ape yg tak perlu di jawab?????
Answer : Suratan takdir illahi lahh ...( siapa yg nak surat seperti ini?)
9) Siapakah orang yang paling layak digelar " keras kepala " ?
Answer : Penunggang motosikal yang tak pakai helmet...sebab mereka rasa "kepala mereka dah keras" tak payah pakai helmet...maknanya kalau moto mereka terbalek...terbabas ke...masok bawah lori ke... kepala mereka takkan pecah....... .hehehehehe. .......
10) Buat Baik berpada-pada, Buat jahat .......... ????
Answer : JANGAN LAGI....bukan buat jahat jangan sekali kerana kalau inilah jawapannya maka kena buat jahat berkali kali sebab disuruh buat jahat jgn sekali.... Faham ? !?
11) Kenapa baju Superman Ketat??????? ?
Answer : Kan kat depan baju dia tuu hurup " S " , Baju dia size S lahhh..
12) Kenapa KLCC berkembar 2 ??
Answer : Sukahati die la nk berkembar 2 ker 3 ker 4 ker, yg korang sibuk apsal..
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